Myth or Reality: Do you ever feel like your life is fading away or even worse that it is inevitable since your growing older?
Recently at a party a friend of mine, in her 50s, and I were chatting and she mentioned she was not being taken seriously at her workplace; and humorously remarked, "On top of all of that, no one in the world sees me anymore because I'm an older woman." She was half joking but also part serious. Since then I’ve had a few other’s tell me they had similar feelings and this got me thinking:
Just like my last blog about eyebrows, it’s sad that some of us think we fade away as we age and grow older.
But that’s not how life should be lived. While alive, live. And don’t die until you’re dead.
In a nutshell, that constitutes my philosophy about aging. In my mid-50’s, I choose to pay closer attention to aging well, living life with vitality, zest and happiness.
The art of aging well involves keeping your mind busy, your emotional and social connections vital, your body active (and functioning), your spirit strong & adventurous, your attitude positive, having a sense of joy & gratitude and always retaining a sense wonder. If you don’t do these, you will grow old. (If you do all of these, you will grow old anyway, but more slowly.)
One of the undeniable facts of life is that we are all aging. Many people dread growing old. As we age, we come to terms with the idea that we won’t be around forever, that the days are inevitably passing us by. The good news is - as you grow older, keep in mind that the best is yet to come: opportunities to start over, to let you live out each day as though it were your last.
Listen to what some wise people have said on this subject: “Old age takes away from us what we have inherited and gives us what we have earned,” says Gerald Brenan. “We do not die wholly at our deaths: we have moldered away gradually long before. Faculty after faculty, interest after interest, attachment after attachment disappear: we are torn from ourselves while living,” says William Hazlitt. “I don’t believe one grows older. I think that what happens early on in life is that at a certain age one stands still and stagnates,” said T. S. Eliot. “Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the Great Mystery into which we are born,” said Albert Einstein.
So what do you do in order to age well?
1. MAKE THAT BUCKET LIST
Actually, write two lists. One on the theme of what you are optimistic about, and the other about what you still want to accomplish or experience before you die. Don’t just think it, write it down, because it becomes more real when we can see it and refer back to it. You’re going to need these lists in order to keep your spirit high and your focus centered on reaching the goals you have for your future.
2. BE OPTIMISTIC
Separate out what matters from what doesn’t. Don’t spend your time, energy and life force pursuing trivial things that don’t really matter to you all that much. Be disciplined with yourself. You have less time now and you don’t want to waste it. Elbert Hubbard said it this way: “The secret of salvation is this: keep sweet, be useful and keep busy.”
3. HAVE FUN
Do something fun at least once a week. Fun keeps us feeling young.
4. FIND SOMETHING YOU LOVE, AND DO IT
If an active lifestyle is something you can do, then it’s not too late to take up a new hobby — or simply to volunteer.
5. EXERCISE OFTEN
Look carefully at what you could do to improve your health and level of fitness. Try to get in at least an hour of physical activity each day. It doesn’t have to be aerobic and resistance training every day— even a walk through the neighborhood park or a morning spent doing some simple gardening and yard-work is enough to stay active.
Intense cardio activities like running or jogging aren't the only types of movement that may have protective benefits for the heart as we age. Walking, cycling, swimming, yoga, golf and other lifestyle activities will boost your body and your brain. The key is consistency.
There are good reasons for strength training beyond looking good in a bikini - although that is definitely a perk. Strong bodies are linked to strong minds. Strength training builds confidence, muscle, and healthy tissue. It’s also good for stable joints, injury prevention and weight loss. Resistance training is the first line of defense against the loss of muscle mass that occurs with age. The really good news — it's never too late to get started, even if you've never picked up a weight in your life.
6. EAT WELL
Healthy eating is important at any age, but becomes even more so as we reach midlife and beyond. As you age, eating a healthy diet can help to improve mental acuteness, boost your energy levels, and increase your resistance to illness. Eating well can also be the key to a positive outlook and staying emotionally balanced. But healthy eating doesn’t have to be about dieting and sacrifice. Whatever your age, eating well should be all about enjoying fresh, tasty food, wholesome ingredients, and eating in the company of friends and family.
Eating well as you age is about more than just the quality and variety of your food. It’s also about the pleasure of eating, which increases when a meal is shared. Eating with others can be as important as adding vitamins to your diet. A social atmosphere stimulates your mind, makes meals more enjoyable, and can help you stick to your healthy eating plan.
Even if you live alone, you can make healthy meals more pleasurable by: Shopping or cooking with friends which can also give you a chance to catch up without falling behind on your chores. It’s also a great way to share new meal ideas and save money on discount deals like “buy one, get the second half price”.
7. SOCIALIZE
We need friendship and intimate connections with other people. In study after study, people in warm and loving relationships—with spouses, friends, church and/or volunteer groups—are healthier and live longer than those without such social and intimate relationships. Do not underestimate the importance of other people in your life—and pets count also. One way of deepening your relationship with other people is to listen to them, rather than talking about yourself or your own needs and feelings. Another way is to be generous with your time and energy that you offer to others. Sir Arthur Wing Pinero captured it this way: “Those that love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.”
8. GET A GOOD NIGHT’S REST
Approximately 8 to 9 hours per night. This can never be too strongly emphasized. All too many adults suffer from a lack of sleep. As we age, we tend to sleep less deeply, the result of the brain producing less melatonin. This is also a possibility for why our sleep cycles change as we age. As is very common as we age and I for one get tired earlier in the evenings and wake up very early in the morning — so setting aside a particular time in the evening to fall asleep is important. In addition to tiredness during the day, sleep deprivation is associated with attention and memory problems.
9. BE GRATEFUL
Find a way to live more in the spirit of appreciation and gratitude for what gifts life has graced you with. Gratitude shifts your focus from what your life lacks to the abundance that is already present. In addition, research has shown that giving thanks makes people happier and more resilient, it strengthens relationships, it improves health, and it reduces stress. Gratitude will change your life.
“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” — Albert Einstein
10. REMEMBER THAT IT’S NEVER TOO LATE
You might think that if you haven’t adopted a healthy lifestyle by your mid-20s or early 30s, that there’s probably not much you can do — especially if there’s a risk of long-term illness like cancer or diabetes in your family. Nothing could be further from the truth. Throughout your life, your brain is constantly changing due to its neuroplasticity, always in search of new connections to form. You can start good habits at any point, and turn them into lifelong routines, while enjoying the benefits of eating healthy and regular exercise.